“For My people have committed two evils:
They have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters,
And hewn themselves cisterns—broken cisterns that can hold no water. Jeremiah 2:13 NKJV
The things I have gone after. They cannot fullfill me. They actually hinder me and take away my joy. I have put so much into the obsessions that I have, yet any happiness I receive from them is momentary and fleeting. And none of the things I enjoy are bad things, but when used in excess can cause major issues. Food being the obvious one. It is ok to eat food and to enjoy it. However, when taken to the extreme of overeating/binging, I had become overweight and it had become really hard to do things. Buying too many things can cause financial issues. Seeking out approval/praise from others breeds low self-confidence and keeps me in fear. And it all takes the focus off of God and what He has for me to do.
It is hard for me to just enjoy something a little or in moderation. Though I sometimes start feeling like I have to enjoy these things all the time and everday, which turns these things into idols. When in reality, I don’t. I don’t have to have a cup of tea every day. I don’t have to be on pinterest everyday. I can enjoy those things at different times, yet it’s ok, if I only enjoy them two or 3 times a week or less. I tend to enjoy them a little more, when I don’t indulge in them so often.
Matthew 16:26 NKJV
For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?
In this world, I strive after things that don’t matter. All of these things I am “gaining” and I don’t even see that I am losing what is really important. I put distance between me and God. I lose the closeness with my family/friends. And just when I think I’m doing better, I usually find out that I still have so much of this to work on. I’m not saying that I haven’t made progress, but it is a long process with lots of different issues to deal with. Like with food, there are many emotional ties and lies I have believed.
God is the only one who can contain/satisfy me and is the only one I want to go after. He holds all of me, my life, my circumstances, my feelings, my thoughts, my actions, my very being. And He won’t lose any of it. He has and sees it all. There is no brokenness in Him. I can give Him everything and He can handle it. He is bigger than any problem I might have and I am learning to trust Him more and more.