The next writing prompt in “God Is My Happy Place” is
“On a scale of 1 to 10, how beautiful do you feel today?”
I would probably say about a 2 or a 3. I can probably count on one hand the amount of times in my 44 years that I have truly felt beautiful. I know in my life I have tried to look appealing to others before and still not felt beautiful. I have lost a lot of weight before and not felt beautiful, then gained it all back plus some. Once upon a time, I used to think that in order to be attractive or beautiful, I had to have men desire me. That’s the furthest thing from the truth.
Whether I am beautiful or not is not for this world to decide or judge & really not even for me to judge. Because we humans have flawed judgement sometimes. According to the world, I am not beautiful, because I weigh too much or some other superficial reason. And even if I lose all the weight I believe I need to, that is not what makes me beautiful. It is a gentle and peaceful spirit, which is on the inside of me.
‘Your adornment must not be merely external—with interweaving and elaborate knotting of the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or [being superficially preoccupied with] dressing in expensive clothes; but let it be [the inner beauty of] the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, [one that is calm and self-controlled, not overanxious, but serene and spiritually mature] which is very precious in the sight of God. ‘ 1 Peter 3:3-4 https://my.bible.com/bible/1588/1PE.3.3-4 AMP
I know that God sees me as beautiful, because He made me & that is all that really counts. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
‘I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. ‘ Psalms 139:14 https://my.bible.com/bible/1588/PSA.139.14
‘My frame was not hidden from You, When I was being formed in secret, And intricately and skillfully formed [as if embroidered with many colors] in the depths of the earth. ‘ Psalms 139:15 https://my.bible.com/bible/1588/PSA.139.15 AMP
As I go through this weight loss journey, it is about becoming closer to God and finding my inner beauty. I have been hiding behind the fat/food. This fear has had its way too long. I am learning to believe God’s Word & what He says about me. I am learning to lean on Him instead of the trappings of this world.
You Say by Lauren Daigle. I do not own any rights to this song/video.
***Praise Report: I am celebrating victory for 97 days over food addiction/overeating. Weight loss total to this point: 32.9 pounds***