As I have been realizing the lies I have believed over the years, God brought this one to my attention.
I once told myself and someone else that I didn’t blame myself for placing my daughter for adoption. When, as I really look at it, I have felt shame all these years. I have believed the lie that I don’t deserve to be a parent, because of placing her up for adoption. I even still believe that I would make a bad mom, because of a decision I made 24 years ago. I’ve been so fearful of becoming a parent. The fear of becoming a parent I did realize, but I didn’t realize the shame aspect until now.
The truth of the matter is that my past does not dictate my future. I can do all things through Christ who stenghens me. My old self has gone and the new has come.
‘I can do all things [which He has called me to do] through Him who strengthens and empowers me [to fulfill His purpose—I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency; I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace.] ‘ Philippians 4:13 https://my.bible.com/bible/1588/PHP.4.13 AMP
‘Therefore if anyone is in Christ [that is, grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior], he is a new creature [reborn and renewed by the Holy Spirit]; the old things [the previous moral and spiritual condition] have passed away. Behold, new things have come [because spiritual awakening brings a new life]. ‘ 2 Corinthians 5:17 https://my.bible.com/bible/1588/2CO.5.17 AMP
I don’t believe that decision was a sin. I think my belief is rooted in what others think. I have believed that others think I don’t deserve to be a parent.
Again the truth is that there will always be haters. I’m also sure that most people probably don’t think that about me at all. Also, what God thinks of me is more important than what people think of me.
‘Am I now trying to win the favor and approval of men, or of God? Or am I seeking to please someone? If I were still trying to be popular with men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ. ‘ Galatians 1:10 https://my.bible.com/bible/1588/GAL.1.10 AMP
I do still believe that it was the right thing to do at the time. I would not have been a good parent at that time.
I do need to get rid of this shame & and leave it at the feet of Jesus.
Lord, I give this shame over & I will no longer let it rule my life. You, Lord, are in control. You will teach me all I need to know when I need to know it. You are fully capable of equipping me. Whether or not I become a parent is in your hands. I don’t want to go through life with this shame and fear any longer. I trust you with everything. Thank you for showing me these lies & helping me to get rid of them. I know you will tear down all the lies and walls in my life. Thank you that I can come to You with anything. Nothing is to hard for You. You are bigger than anything I could ever face. Amen.
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