The next writing prompt in “God is My Happy Place” is
“Change is a part of life. Change is what we do as we mature. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?”
Again with the one thing. I’m a list person by nature, so to just list one thing is hard for me, but I only came up with two that I will write about.
The first one is my metabolism. I have always had to work so hard to lose weight. It can be very frustrating when you feel like you’re trying and nothing is happening. At the same time I do feel like I’m trying to do it on my own and not allowing God to do His thing. I’ve always felt that, if I follow the rules, then things will happen. This go around that doesn’t seem to be the case. I have to trust God and do things His way & maybe even learn that me trying to be perfect isn’t the end goal. I don’t want to mess up, but I know that I will sometimes. One of my boundaries is going to all gluten-free pasta. Well the other day I was at an event & I put some pasta salad on my plate not even thinking about it. At home, I have just made the switch. I cook with all gluten-free pasta, so in my mind I was thinking that it was gluten-free, but in reality, most likely not. When there are food boundaries in place, it can be interesting when you go to a potluck. Though it does give me an appreciation for how those who have allergies have to eat and be careful when they are not eating at home. I don’t have allergies, but putting boundaries in place does help me be more aware of what I’m eating.
Anxiety is also something I would like to change. I don’t have panic attacks anymore, but I do get anxious at times, such as when I make mistakes & when negative things happen in life. I’m working on bringing God into the conversation that I’m having with myself, which seems to be calming me down. I have a pinterest board entitled “Jesus”. I have pinned a lot of verses, prayers, etc. So when I get anxious, and it is possible, I can go to that board and read some of the things there. I also have the YouVersion app on my phone and I can read my Bible. Though quiet time and prayer with no technology, is also very helpful. It helps me to feel like I don’t have any obligations to fulfill other than being with God.
So all in all, I’m working on changing the things that I can, and trying to cope with or accept the things I cannot. It is a big part of accepting myself as who God says I am & not what others actually think of me or what I think they think of me.